So, just remembered I have a blog... I'll try to be better.

Failed Blocking

Some point great need to great thoughts and sleep abuse

I can’t long us many grains

Earth and hard line wheat could sentence these ideas

Plant thresh between you and I

Not land as sea

Don’t cover company with down

While sheep play abuse stories right at home

Baked will make 47 stand far off

Air closes her other four names

End night from high eye want

Spell our ground

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This poem was created with poetry magnets

Just A Thought

So, I wrote this yesterday, and apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way, so here's kinda my outlook on life I suppose.

   Sometimes, when I read too much poetry, I can feel the unreality of the world starting to seep through the cracks in the walls and I can't get upset about anything, because everything's relative to the window of reality you allow into your apartment. You're going to move out sooner or later, and when you do, you may not have to deal with all the things that happened when you let too much reality in.

The Payoff of Living Suits the Cost of Death

Back laced, demographically pleasing violence
   Washes all thought to the gutter,
   Where it sits, pockmarked and painless,
   While I attempt to process the news that
   I'm stuck on the day the apocalypse took all feeling
   From my fingertips and left a gray stripe on my forearm
   Which burns whenever touched,
   Reminding me of the graceless butterflies who hijack my feet
   Thinking to fly, but run instead
   Over shattered bullet shells, tripping at every possible moment,
   Eroding the skin from my feet, setting all the insects free
   To hurt me again.
Twittering birds often shove the talent I had hoped for
   Between the sticks of their nest,
   Intertwining my dreams and beliefs with mud
   For the good of their children.
   Even if it leaves me devoid of flame and water.

I speak too much when no one is     

listening.    

Return To Sender

Could my memories, those frail particles
   Caught by some partial understanding of how fleeting
   Smiles and softened eyes actually are,
   Stop living as though they understand the present
   Through their outdated look on life?

Entrenched

A silhouette of green and black downgrade my strengths quite nicely
   While a magpie laughs at the confusion and destruction playing out
   On the mountain rage below
   Because someone stole someone else's girl back in '95
   Even if people are not objects.
Red on red, lighting the small room which thuds in my ears and behind my eyes,
   Swimming and reeling, though you don't know why this is that way or that is this way,
   Or why everyone must scream and kick like children
   When they clearly left the playground cries and squealing laughter in the far past
   Amid dusty blankets, ripped animals, and smashed plastic toys.
Enmity on the brain with scars on both legs, ripped by the explosion of disgust underwater
   Which punctured the ozone of epidermis my body creates as a means to keep
   Everything out.

Hi

It's interesting how many people have actually looked at this blog. To be honest, I didn't think anyone would ever look at this, but I've apparently gotten 23 this month, which is crazy to me!
Anyways, thanks you guys :)

Honey, I'm home!!!

At the request of a close friend, I am posting again. Hopefully I continue it this time X)
Anyways, I think I'm going to post more poetry on here. Posting about your personal life can be hard to look back on, as I am finding out. Either way, here's a poem I've been working on. It's not done yet, but I was wondering what y'all thought of it.

Practicality promised me something of a reward for the idle thoughts 

Dripping from the stalactite brain inside my cave of a head, filled with the angry dreams

And unused promises I thought would make me more appealing.

Sales floor representatives shove a blackened picture of Me, Myself and I, at total strangers,

Making Me wonder if department store prices are honestly as bad as everyone says,

Making Myself watch the dirt-poor floor self portraits signed by black shoe soles,

And I burst into key locked tears, flooding the place,

Drowning her agony in the onslaught of condescension which followed.

No one leaves me alone with my thoughts…

And I think I like that.

I thought they understood the need for leashes and chains,

For who truly trusts all the swirling intonation of their own voice 

Without it first resonating through their jaw bone,

Leading straight to their inner ear?

      No one I know enjoys the sound of their voice on tape
      As if they don't want anyone knowing the truth about themselves
      Though everyone can see the answers just by the unguarded black
      That steeps like tea into your countenance and being.

Any ideas on where to go next with it?

Marching Band Basically

So, I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been really busy. School just decided to throw everything it's got at me, and I'm still trying to recover.

Anyways, life's been pretty good lately, school and all. Our marching band this year has actually placed (I know. Shocker right?), and we've been working fairly hard. I really hope we don't plateau. It's kinda starting to happen, and I don't want my Senior year to be crap. I think our competition yesterday was a letdown, but we had really nasty cold weather on Thursday, a football game Friday, which was of course, the night before, and then had the buses and judges of the competition just decide to be weird, so I think we just need to get our footing beneath us again, and we'll do better. I hope atleast. I've got some ideas that might really help us... You know, if anyone will listen :P

Anyways, I'll sign off for now. Here's to looking toward a better tomorrow :)

Random Update

It's been awhile since I've posted. School's back in, and that means I am officially a Senior. It feels weird to be this old.

Life. Just life.

So, I FINALLY got the dress I've been drooling over for the past year :) I'm hoping to wear it to Homecoming. I wouldn't have any worries, except the SBOs messed up, and put it the same day as one of our competitions for marching band :P I still don't understand what was wrong with the date they had originally, but I guess that's why I'm not an SBO.

I don't know if it's legal to post the picture of it from the website, so I might put a picture on here eventually :/

Anyways, band camp is soon... And my music is only partially memorized :/ It's hard to learn your part as a mellophone/french horn because the parts are weird, and we still haven't truly run through the other two songs. I guess I'll find out what'll happen next week :/

Story anyone?

Over 100 views everyone?! I freakin' love you all, you anonymous readers ;)

So, since I have no idea what to post about, I asked my friends, and I got the results marshmallows, pudding, and ninjas. If I get any comments on this, I will write a story involving all of these things :)

Change

Well, change is here. I forgot to mention, but I've had a boyfriend for two days now (officially!!!), and I'm now in the midst of my first Doctor Who regeneration.
The change has been very fast, and there's some things I'm kinda having trouble with, but I think I'm coping fairly well. Hopefully, things will slow down soon, but for now, I'm okay.

How do you treat others?

I have thought about something a lot lately (and by lately, I mean the past like 3 hours). Why is it when certain people are happy in their lives, we have to go and ruin it, even just a little bit?
I think everyone does it. It doesn't matter if it's just one person, and it's just a teeny-tiny bit. It still happens. It's like we just can't be happy for that person(s), because they seem happier than us.
I think "who" also changes, depending on what is happening. I mean, if you're not happy in a relationship, and then someone comes along and they're extremely happy in their relationship, I think everyone would feel at least a twinge of jealousy. So, some people seem to see the need to interject something into this person's love life. Maybe a little something to disrupt their happiness for a while.

Why?

Why would we do that to people? Especially the ones we say we care about? I mean, we love them, don't we? And any person is another living, breathing human beings. We all go through crap. We all have happy, sunshiney days.

Shouldn't we all just carry each other, and help, instead of throwing more mud in their path, or at their face?

Just something to think about.

New Favorite Song!!!

Whoa! I've gotten almost 50 pageviews on here :) Good job you guys.

So anyways, I have a new favorite song. It's "Close Your Eyes" by Michael Buble (Yeah, I don't know how to put the little thing over the "e"). It's such a beautiful song, and I can finally say that I have someone I could sing it to. I showed it to him last night, and... Yeah :)

Anyways, here's a link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chio1TqKFRk Hope you guys like it too :)

My Love Life ;)

   So, I didn't tell y'all (which is probably nobody in all actuality), but I have graduated from the level of Unrequited love, and am now traveling in the Land of Awesomeness!!!
   Anyways, this amazing boy has changed how I look at things ever since I started seriously chatting with him in February. He's extremely smart, and he's a pretty positive person :) And now, I get to look at the world as someone who knows that they're feelings are returned.

   Last night, he showed me a poem he wrote for me, and I just about melted. It's one of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me, and it just showed me how much he actually does care for me :) I won't post it on here, seeing as how it's kinda personal especially for anyone with a computer and their dog to have access to, but it is amazing :)

   So, I guess that's all I want to say right now. Until next time :)

Shying Away

Bursting holes
through the thin black veil
covering
the being.

Kicking. Screaming.
Pushing
until the collapse of
spirit.

I discern a
ember,
lambent in the
chill breeze.

You're gone.
Gone to the green land
far from
my loving embrace.

I draw inward.
Absorbed by the strong force.
Water on face,
While quavering inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you guys think?

So, today's Father's Day. Time to tell your father how much you love him. I think that not having my Dad at home with my family would be extremely hard. Props to anyone out there who is not able to celebrate today with their Dad. I don't know what else to say...

I'm here

So, I made a blog... I feel kinda weird, but I suppose that it was going to happen eventually. I don't know what I'll use this for, or if I'll even continue with it, but it's here. If it's on your computer screen right now, I suppose I could say my thoughts and world are there... Carefully there.